Touch Down!

Our dossier arrived in Kigali, Rwanda this afternoon after spending the last week touring Virginia, Indiana, Tennessee, and Great Britain. At last, it is in the hands of those who will decide if and when we will be united with our child.

Please pray for our patience as we begin the longest waiting period of the adoption process. We're looking at about 3-6 months before we hear anything from Rwanda, followed by approximately 2 more months of waiting to receive information about the child they have chosen for us.

I'm trying to view these months as an opportunity to rest from paperwork and enjoy this unique time as a family of 4, before we add another treasure to our brood!

This is also the time to turn our focus to fundraising. We're in the process of putting together a fundraising dinner/concert, which will probably take place in mid-late March. As soon as we have a date locked in, we'll post more details for those who are close enough to join us.

Thanks for tracking our journey!

Go go go, Jet Plane!

We just heard the news we've been waiting for - our dossier is officially on its way to Rwanda! Apparently not all of the documents were ready to be picked up from the Rwandan embassy until today. But now we have a tracking number, so I'll be stalking FedEx.com until the package arrives.

Excuse me while I breathe a sigh of relief...

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.

Okay. Now on to our 3-6 month wait for approval.

Tick...tock...tick...tock...tick...

Still waiting.

Still.

Grr.

"Should" be Friday

Just heard from my wonderful family coordinator that she should be able to pick up our dossier at the Rwandan Embassy on Friday (at LAST)! I'll hear from her again when it's in the mail and on its way over the ocean.

Apparently it takes about 5-7 days for the dossier to get to Rwanda, which will definitely put our medical reports over their 3-month expiration deadline. However, I was told this probably won't be a problem since we're only talking about a few days. Who knows? Only time will tell.

So...Friday. I can do Friday. I think.

Actually, Friday is Tim's birthday, and our first solo date night in a shameful number of months. Maybe we'll be celebrating for two reasons!

The obnoxious ticking clock

That would be me.

It's been just over 4 weeks since we sent our dossier to Washington, D.C. to be reviewed by our agency, the State Department, and the Rwandan Embassy. We're waiting on a non-objection letter from the embassy, and then everything goes overseas to the Rwandan Ministry of Gender and Family Promotion.

I knew this process would take about a month. Well, it's been a month. Plus three days. And I'm getting impatient.

Ridiculous, I know. What am I going to be like during the next phase, while we're waiting for our approval?! Let's not go there.

I'm sure part of my eagerness comes from the amazing news pouring in from so many other adopting families. This week has been incredible for Rwandan adoption! Not only are four families in Rwanda right now meeting their children, but several others just received their approvals AND referrals over the weekend! There's been so much exciting activity in our friends' journeys that it's hard to sit on the sidelines knowing our paperwork isn't even in the lineup yet.

At times like this it seems like our time will never come. Then again, as a child I never thought Christmas morning would come either, even after I'd been tucked into bed on Christmas Eve. Every year my Dad always told me, "The sooner you go to sleep, the sooner it will be morning." So true. Unfortunately, I can't sleep my way through the next few months of waiting, so instead I'll have to work on distracting myself.

Maybe I should take up knitting.

Tears Abundant

I'm worn out from crying over these blogs, so I'll give you the links and let them speak for themselves. Praise God for uniting these families earlier than expected! What a beautiful Thanksgiving weekend.

The Spores
The Dorbands
The Bowers
The Smiths

Good news for other AWAA familes!

A few busy days kept me from checking blog updates from other adoptive families, and I'm happy to say that in that time it looks like most of them were able to get court dates in November! In fact, one of them passed court this morning and they now officially have another child. :)

It looks like this group of families from our adoption agency will be traveling to Rwanda mid-December. Please pray for peace as they will most likely be missing Christmas with the family members they leave here in the States during their journey.

The Latest

I can't believe it's already been 3 weeks since my last post! Unfortunately, I don't have much to report, other than the fact that our family coordinator approved our dossier and told us we would hear from her again when it is officially on its way to Rwanda.

My understanding is that our agency took the dossier to the State Department in D.C. last Monday, November 9. So it probably went to the Rwandan embassy last Tuesday or Wednesday. We were told that it usually takes 10-14 days to clear the embassy before heading to Rwanda, but I don't know if that calculation refers to business days or calendar days. I'm hoping we get some good news before Thanksgiving, because it would be amazing to celebrate being DTR on Thanksgiving Day! (DTR is adoption speak for Dossier to Rwanda, BTW.)

Either way, this coming week will be one of celebration, as we will be watching (via blog) as a fellow adoptive family travels to Rwanda to pick up their two precious boys! What a blessing it has been these past couple of weeks as referrals have finally poured in for waiting families. I have cried so many joyful tears as I have read about the boys and girls at Home of Hope orphanage who don't even realize their photos are being kissed and treasured by loving parents and siblings on the other side of the globe.

Unfortunately, most of these families are still waiting to pass court (this happens in Rwanda through a Power of Attorney, and it is when the children are given their new families' names). Families cannot make travel arrangements until after this legal proceeding. To complicate matters, Rwandan courts close for the month of December, so if court dates are not arranged and successfully completed before Dec. 1, these families will be forced to wait another entire month before being united with their children! Please pray with us for these families as they discover God's timing and eagerly anticipate the reunions to come.

Fly away, Dossier!

It's finished! After 5 months and 13 days of chasing papers, our dossier is finally in a FedEx box making it's way to our adoption agency in Washington, D.C. We went as a family to say goodbye to this mountain of paperwork, but I think I was the only one who really grasped the significance of the moment. After all, as with physical pregnancy, circumstances have required that I carry the weight of "gestation." Tim has been my cheerleader, provider, and sounding board. Now I'll be asking him to be my labor coach as we agonize through the coming months of waiting.

Here are some photos of the big moment. More details about the last few days are below.

Dossier for Rwanda, Copies 1 and 2 for our adoption agency, and Copy 3 plus originals for our records.

Annabell and Liam "holding the baby" at FedEx.

Alison filling out the shipping information. One more bit of paperwork...

The last 36 hours have been a blur. Our I-171H arrived on Thursday afternoon, and even though I was hoping for it, seeing "U.S. Department of Homeland Security" on the envelope shocked me speechless. For about 3.5 seconds. Then I was hooting and hollering and running around like a headless chicken trying to figure out what I needed to do to finish our dossier.

By midday Friday, I had arranged childcare, talked to my family coordinator umpteen times, and received via FedEx a replacement cover page for our homestudy, which was the last document I needed. I set off for Harrisburg to find the Secretary of State's office, praying that I hadn't overlooked some essential piece of our dossier.

After spending a small fortune on a parking meter (actually, 2 parking meters, but that's another story), I hiked through the capitol complex with my huge stack of folders, found the correct office building, passed through security, rode in an elevator with a man dressed in a what appeared to be an authentic suit of armor from medieval times (while he complained that the security guard wouldn't allow him to carry in his sword, which was also authentic...), and cautiously surrendered my precious paperwork to a woman in the Bureau of Commissions, Elections, and Legislation.

Thirty-five minutes later I handed over a $300 check, collected my certified documents, and sped home, thinking I might be able to get the dossier in the mail before the end of the day.

As it turned out, photocopying all those certification pages took longer than I expected. I had to make 3 copies of each, and then attach them to the correct forms in my 3 existing stacks of copied dossier documents. It doesn't sound complicated, but it's surprisingly time consuming. By the time I finished, it was already after 4 o'clock, my Mom was needing a break from babysitting, my kids were getting hungry, and I sensed that the responsible choice was to give my attention to them for the rest of the evening. Considering that I had yet to quadruple-check my dossier and make sure everything was included, this turned out for the best.

So, this morning I finished verifying that all was in order, packaged the paperwork, wrote a check for the agency, and announced to my family that the big moment had come. It was time to ship this baby off.

Hopefully, this is the last I'll see of our dossier. I'm cautiously optimistic, but until my family coordinator reviews it, I'll be on pins and needles wondering if I did everything correctly. I'm especially concerned about the certification of our income documents. Because we own a business and are self-employed, we had to create some documents to explain our various streams of income. Unlike the other documents in the dossier, which each received their own certification page, the income-related documents were paper-clipped together with a certification page stapled to the top document only. This seems a bit sketchy to me, but it complies with the instructions we received from our agency AND the person who did the certification. So, here's hoping.

"What's next?" you're probably asking. Well, once our family coordinator approves our dossier (hopefully sometime next week), a courier will take it to the State Department, where it will be further verified and approved (a 1-day ordeal). From there it goes to the Rwandan Embassy, where it will spend about 2 weeks being studied, approved, and translated into Kinyarwanda (not sure on this last part...the translation might happen in Rwanda). And then, at last, it will fly away over the ocean to the Ministry of Gender and Family Promotion in Kigali, Rwanda, where it will remain until we receive our non-objection letter (i.e., approval to adopt) from the Rwandan government (the wait for this is usually 3-6 months...currently averaging about 5 months).

In reality, the length of our wait time is anyone's guess. Rwandan adoption is so new, there really isn't yet a concrete system for processing. Some families who submit dossiers after others still receive their approvals first. And when Rwanda says something will happen by a certain date, we have to take that information with a grain of salt. The American obsession with schedules and deadlines doesn't translate in most of the world, especially in Africa. Therefore, we must be patient and remember that the timing of our adoption, like everything else, is in God's hands. This truth will be a matter of intense focus for me in the months to come.

For now, I'm looking forward to enjoying this milestone and temporarily turning my attention to my favorite time of the year: CHRISTMAS!!! God willing, this will be our last holiday season as a family of 4....

I love my mailman!!!

It's here at last!!! Our I-171H, that precious $830-dollar piece of paper from the U.S. government, arrived in today's mail! Now all we need to do to finish our dossier is take a day-trip to Harrisburg for certification at the Secretary of State's office, and then ship this massive pile of paperwork to D.C. The end of our 6-month paper chase is in sight!!!

USCIS shakes things up once again...

When the phone rang this afternoon and the caller I.D. read, "G SA DOJ IMMIGR," my heart jumped. Those last few letters had to stand for "immigration," so I knew it must be USCIS calling about our I-600A application. But why? We're in our 4th week of waiting for approval, and we were told earlier not to expect it until early November.

I answered eagerly and held my breath as the adoption officer introduced himself. His abrupt manner didn't bode well for the nature of the call, and sure enough his next words were, "We've got a problem with your home study." Not what I wanted to hear.

He went on to tell me (with no small amount of accusation in his tone) that the home study was supposed to be submitted on agency letterhead and accompanied by a copy of our agency's license. Huh? I thought. The format of the home study wasn't my responsibility...I was just the messenger!

"I don't know who messed this up, but someone really dropped the ball," he was saying. Then the questions began. "Who conducted this home study? Which agency are you using? Is the social worker who did this connected to your agency?" Deciding my AWAA family coordinator would probably be the best person to handle the situation, I began rattling off her office number in VA. "That's a Virginia area code," the officer interrupted. "Why are you giving me a Virginia number?"

By this point I was fighting tears. It's not every day I'm basically accused of fraud. Perhaps that's a bit harsh...the guy might have just been having a rough day. "I'll give this lady a call," he said in parting. "But if I can't sort this out right now, I'll have to put something in writing and send it to you in the mail." Not sure what that meant, but it sounded ominous and way too slow. I hung up the phone feeling like a criminal and wondering how long it would take to sort out this mess.

What to do? I couldn't call my family coordinator, because I didn't want to occupy her line while the USCIS officer was trying to call. Instead I pulled out my social worker's number. No answer on her extension, so I asked the receptionist for a supervisor. Still no answer. I explained the situation to the receptionist (assuming she was a receptionist...I really don't know, I suppose), and THIS is where I once again found myself abundantly grateful for America World Adoption.

As has been true of every AWAA employee I've spoken with, this woman was sympathetic and helpful from the start, and I knew I had an ally. Instead of sending me to someone's voicemail, she wrote an email on the spot, asking me several questions to make sure she understood the situation, and sent it marked "Urgent" to my social worker, my social worker's supervisor, and my family coordinator.

Fifteen minutes later I received a copy of an email my family coordinator had sent to the USCIS officer. I immediately called her and learned that she had spoken with him briefly, and once she listened carefully to his concerns, he warmed up to her (which doesn't surprise me, as she has a very soothing way about her) and they were able to work out a simple solution. It turns out the problem was really minor, so it's anyone's guess why he was so ferocious about it at first.

This became even more of a mystery a few minutes later when I received a second phone call from the USCIS officer. I barely recognized him thanks to his friendly tone. This time he was just letting me know he'd spoken with "that nice lady at your agency" and had what he needed. He proceeded to actually thank ME for helping HIM!

And then he said, "I think I might have jumped the gun a bit on your approval." Thankfully, the hiccup he was referring to turned out to be a false alarm. He couldn't find any record of our FBI fingerprint clearance, so he thought we hadn't yet been fingerprinted. We took care of that in August, so I knew it had to be a mixup. Sure enough, the technician who took the prints misspelled our names. Incredibly, nowhere on the I-600A application are we asked for our social security numbers. That means that the adoption officer could only search for our clearances using our names, and since they were misspelled in the database, nothing showed up in his search. Once I gave him our socials he found the clearances right away.

So, from the sounds of it, our I-171H is just around the corner!! I'm wondering if we might even receive it next week! I don't want to get my hopes up, but my family coordinator also implied that it's all but done. So this weekend I'll be throwing together our photo pages, photocopying all our dossier documents, and figuring out what we have left to notarize. As soon as that I-171H gets here we can take everything up to Harrisburg to be certified by the Secretary of State, and then our dossier is FINISHED!!

A huge benefit to getting our I-171H early would be that our physical exams are still valid. We have to submit our dossier to AWAA before November 10 in order to avoid repeating the exams. Since our insurance only covers one physical per year, this would be a costly process.

So thank you for your prayers today! Many of you responded to my Facebook S.O.S. following that first phone call, and the support was so encouraging! God is good!

A Little Grey About "Black" and "White"

As I was putting Annabell to bed the other night, she asked me to lay down with her for a few minutes "and talk about our baby." This is not an unusual request...she LOVES to talk about our baby. These conversations are always so precious to me. I love hearing her five-year-old thoughts on the matter. "I hope our baby is a girl. But if God wants it to be a boy, that's okay, too." Even more special are her prayers for her little brother or sister. "God, could you please make sure our baby isn't scared in the orf-nage. And if she is, could you make sure there's a night light so she won't be scared anymore?"

During this particular conversation I decided to talk about skin color. We've addressed this topic on and off, but never with the commonly used terms "black" and "white." I explained that our skin is a light color, and people say that we are "white." Annabell giggled at this and stated confidently, "That's silly. We're not white. Snow is white." I agreed with her and then talked about how the baby's skin will be the color of chocolate, and that people will say he or she is "black." Again, she found this humorous, since our baby will obviously have brown skin.

It's strange that talking to my daughter about this issue feels awkward and a touch controversial. I've never cared about being politically correct, especially when the words "politically" and "correct" are rarely appropriate in the same sentence. But as we become a bi-racial family, I want to make sure the terms we use regarding skin color are accurate and positive. I don't know exactly what that's going to look like, but it's definitely an issue we'll be working through in the months to come.

I'm well aware that the difference between our skin color and that of our child will be both a blessing and a challenge. It will probably illicit rude questions from without and feelings of insecurity from within. It will forever mark our third child as "adopted" rather than biological. It will lead to false assumptions and hurtful prejudices.

On the other hand, it will also add a richness to our family and be a testimony to the victorious power of love. Only love can eradicate the boundaries of distance, culture, and ethnicity to transform two different entities into one family.

The greatest example of this kind of love is found in Jesus, who was the ultimate advocate for unity and peace - first between man and God, and then between man and man. Through Christ we "who once were far away have been brought near...For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility...." That's what love can do.

Amazing.

Taking a Vote!

Our incredible photographer/musician/all-around-amazing-artist friend Joyous took some photos of our family last week so we'd have something recent to include in our dossier. We still need to choose 1 more posed photo and 2 candids.

Some of my favorite options are below, but I'm having a hard time deciding which ones to choose. Can you help? If you have an opinion, please feel free to comment!

Posed #1 - Looking Up

Posed #2 - Leaning Family

Posed # 3 - Family Tree

Candid #1 - Mommy and 'Bell

Candid #2 - Mommy & Son

Candid #3 - Waterworks

Candid #4 - Halo

Candid #5 - Soaking Toes

A Greater Purpose

God is up to something, and I can't wait to find out what it is! I keep asking myself: Why are we adopting from Rwanda? Why that country, and why now?

Some people might think we chose Rwanda because of our friends Peter and Laurel Greer, who recently adopted their son from the same orphanage where we'll (most likely) be united with our son or daughter. We loved watching the Greers' journey, and Tim and I did make our decision to pursue adoption while they were in Kigali meeting Myles. But the truth is, Rwanda wasn't even on our short list at that time!

And then there's Joyous Derner, another treasured friend, whose compassion and talent have contributed to our love of Rwanda and its people. Yet as much as Joy has influenced our hearts, I'm convinced that something deeper drew us to adopt specifically from Rwanda at this precise time in our lives. (I'll reserve the practical details about how we chose Rwanda for another blog post.)

When we first decided to move forward with adoption, it seemed like a huge endeavor. Intimidating, exciting, and eternally significant. It is all those things, yet ever since we began this journey our vision has continued to grow. "Explode" is probably a better word for it. No longer are we content to provide a forever home for one child. No longer does what we're doing seem unique or particularly praiseworthy. We are obeying, pure and simple, and obedience doesn't stop with one act.

These are the truths that have filled our conversations and thoughts lately, often creating intense frustration in my heart. I want to do MORE, and I want to do it NOW. Tim and I have been praying for guidance, vision, and resources to accomplish whatever God has planned for us, but I confess a severe lack of patience!

Thank God, He began to answer our prayers recently through my dear friend Laurel (yes, Myles' Mommy!), who is co-founding a non-profit designed to help the vulnerable children of Rwanda. Please click here to visit this organization's blog and find out more about their mission.

Laurel and Peter, Joyous and her husband Rob, me and Tim...all of us in the same Sunday school class at the same church with the same passion for the people and children of a tiny country the size of Maryland.

God is definitely up to something big.

I Had A Dream...

I tend to have weird dreams. They usually take place in odd locations, involve insane conversations, and rarely star me as myself. I'm usually in another person's body interacting with the real Alison, or I'm an uninvolved observer, or I'm a little blond, naked black girl running through the Hawaiian hills while dodging WWII bombs and trying to escape a pack of wolves who bark with British accents.

But last night I had a different dream. A strange one, for me, because it didn't involved jogging through saltwater taffy or playing "Pin the Tail on Obama." This time I dreamed that I was in Rwanda, waiting in a room at the Home of Hope orphanage to meet my new son or daughter.

I didn't know who my child would be yet - boy or girl, infant or toddler. There were five other couples waiting with me, and all of the women were seated with their husbands standing by their sides.

Suddenly the door opened and several nuns walked in, each carrying a child. The babies were wrapped in pink or blue blankets, depending on their gender. I instantly focused on the blue blankets, certain that one of the boys would be mine, as I'd suspected since the beginning of the adoption process.

A nun walked toward me carrying a little girl, and I shifted my legs to the side so she could pass and deliver the child to the woman behind me. But then I realized she wasn't passing by...she was stopping. I looked up, and the woman smiled kindly as she lowered the child into my arms.

A girl...? We get a girl?! Shock paralyzed me for a nanosecond, but it immediately melted to joy as the child's weight settled on my lap. I gazed into those beautiful chocolate eyes and felt mine burn with a sudden rush of tears. Everyone else in the room disappeared as my daughter and I drank one another in, and then I was weeping, totally overcome with the reality of our belonging.

I couldn't stop sobbing as I touched her hair, kissed her sweet cheeks, and told her how much I loved her. And I did. The strength of it was like a tide carrying me to a place I'd never dreamed, and I knew there was no end in sight. That kind of love had no end.

I woke up short of breath, my chest aching from the intensity of my tears. I hadn't physically been crying, but my heart didn't know that.

I'm not one to read into dreams, and I don't take this one to mean we'll be getting a girl, that we'll be in Rwanda with five other families, or that the babies there are dressed in pink and blue! But I do think God might have been showing me something last night...

Just yesterday I was telling a friend how real the adoption is beginning to feel now that we're almost done with our dossier. That's true, but I also have to admit that until recently I've had very little emotional connection with this child. I hear other adoptive moms talk about how difficult it is to be patient, and how much they already love these nameless, faceless children...and I feel DEFECTIVE! I want to be overcome with feelings of love. I want my arms to ache for this child. But they don't. At least, not very often.

I'm learning to forgive myself for this. It helps to remember that I felt the same way during pregnancy. It wasn't until the last trimester with either of my children that I began to really feel any connection. Yet the moment I heard their first cries, I knew I would lay down my life for these kids.

People are built differently, I suppose. But the fact remains that I want to bond with my adopted child now, not later. So a few days ago I began praying that God would give me a greater love for this unknown baby.

I wonder if last night's dream might be His way of saying, "Fear not. I have made everything beautiful in its time." I think He let me feel the smallest touch of His love for our child, and it was nearly enough to crush me. So I'm not worried anymore. The God of love has more than enough to go around, and He knows exactly what He's doing in my heart.

"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me." Isaiah 49:15-16

Hurry Up and Wait

Hallelujah! The mailman brought us a precious gem this morning - three copies of our notarized home study! As I write this, one of those copies is already on its way to the USCIS field office in Philadelphia, and the countdown to our I-171H has officially begun!

Those of you who understand the significance of this moment, dance a little jig with me, will you?! And for those of you who are wondering what all the excitement's about, allow me to explain...

The adoption process is a series of hurry-up-and-waits. First, it's "hurry up and get the preliminary paperwork completed," followed by a wait to move into the home study phase. Then it's "hurry up and get the home study materials together," followed by a wait to schedule the meetings. And sprinkled throughout the first several months are lots of little "hurry up and send a request for this-or-that document," and the ensuing wait to retrieve them.

However, most of the early hurry-up-and-waits are relatively condensed and not too painful. The "Big Ones" begin at the end of the paper chase, with the submission of the I-600A to USCIS. Here's how it works (I'm an amateur, so bear with me):

Big One #1: The I-600A/I-171H

• The I-600A is an application to adopt internationally, which is processed by the United States Department of Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS). Upon approval of the I-600A, the adoptive parents receive the coveted I-171H, which is essential for bringing an adopted child to America.
  
• Once we have the I-171H, our dossier is complete. We can zip up to Harrisburg to have all the documents certified by the Secretary of State, and then ship the dossier off to Washington, D.C. to be reviewed, translated, and delivered to Rwanda.
• Here's the catch: it takes an average of 8-12 weeks for the I-600A to be processed. Some people have waited as long as 5 months, others have set a record with 2 weeks! In most cases it's the longest wait for any of the dossier documents, but you can't get the wheels turning on it until the end of the paper chase, because that's when the home study is finished.

Big One #2: Rwandan Government Approval

• Once our dossier arrives in Rwanda (after a few weeks of traveling to our adoption agency, the U.S. State Department, the Rwandan Embassy in D.C., and finally to Kigali, Rwanda), we will wait several months (probably at least 4-6) to receive the government's approval to adopt a Rwandan orphan.

Big One #3: Child Referral

• Once we're approved, the powers-that-be in Rwanda will work on choosing a child for us. This portion of the adoption process has recently undergone some changes, so I don't know exactly how it works. Families currently in this stage have been assured they will receive their referrals no more than 2 months after approval.

As you can see, we have plenty of waiting ahead of us! There is some relief tonight in knowing we've at least entered the first of the Big Ones. It feels like we've been pushing a cart uphill for months, and we're getting close to cresting the top. Pretty soon we'll be able to give one more good shove and the load will take off on its own! Maybe not as quickly as we'd like, but its progress will be, for the most part, out of our hands.

Well, if you've muscled your way through this much of an incredibly long and technical post, you deserve something a little lighter! A new friend of mine who is also adopting from Rwanda inspired me to document some of our paperwork. See her humorous post here.

First, allow me to introduce The Notebook. Not very creative, I know, but it's what we call it. It might not look like much, but it represents many precious hours of labor! Annabell and Liam grew in my uterus. I can't contribute that part of myself to this baby, so instead I'm using The Notebook. In that light, here's a photo of "pregnant" Alison:

The Notebook holds calendars, to-do lists, copies of all correspondence, instruction guides from our agency, and receipts from every expenditure. It also houses The Folders, which contain originals and copies of the documents we've worked so hard to collect.


To-Do lists are like oxygen. Here's a photo of my master list, which I created in the beginning of the adoption process after receiving our dossier guidelines from the agency.


That's all for tonight, folks! Thanks for sticking with me!

Home Stretch for the Home Study

The long-awaited email arrived last night informing us that our home study has been approved by AWAA with minor corrections! We received a final copy today (which still had a few slight errors, but nothing major), so hopefully this important document will soon be in the hands of the USCIS. Once it has been submitted, the clock really begins ticking down to our dossier completion! Unfortunately there's no way to predict how long it will take to get the USCIS approval letter (called the I-171H in adoption speak), but while we're waiting we'll be wrapping up loose ends on the rest of our paperwork and trying not to stalk the mailman.

On another note, congratulations to the Limmers, Higgins, and Himes families, who returned home from Rwanda (via Ethiopia) today with their precious children!! It has been such a joy to share their journeys via blogs, Twitter, and our AWAA Rwanda chat group. Technology can be a wonderful thing!

Ups and Downs

To demonstrate the daily ups and downs of this crazy paper chase, I thought I'd follow up this morning's exciting news with an excerpt of an email I wrote to a friend about the adoption-related chaos of my afternoon:

I, too have been feeling overwhelmed by paperwork, which is odd since I keep telling myself we're pretty much done with everything. Anyway, this morning I sat down and looked through the five-page checklist I created for the dossier documents back in June or July. From that list I made a shorter to-do list for items to accomplish this afternoon. Well, I got them done, but now I have a whole new to-do list to tackle!

First I decided to send our birth certificates off for state certification... Mine went to Vermont, and that was easy enough because I was able to find mailing instructions online. But then, for Tim's, I had to call the Indiana Secretary of State's office for instructions. Turns out the birth certificate I ordered from VitalChek (per the dossier guidelines instructions) is a county-issued certificate, and therefore not valid for certification! So I had to order a NEW birth certificate from the state's Department of Health. This time it will have the state seal on it instead of the county seal. Once I receive it I can send it back (probably to the same building from which it came) for certification. How long will this take, you ask? "Well, ma'am, the birth certificate will take up to TWO MONTHS to be issued, and another 7-10 business days for shipping." WHAT?!? Okay, maybe we'll still be twiddling our thumbs in 2+ months waiting on our USCIS approval, but I don't want to risk a silly birth certificate holding us up! So, I splurged and paid for expedited service, which cost $40 instead of $10 for the whole enchilada. Ugh.

So, after carefully checking my VT birth certificate to make sure it carried the state seal, I stuck it in an envelope with a cover letter and slapped on some stamps. At the last minute I decided to weigh the envelope on my food scale and check online to make sure I had the right postage. I did, but barely, which made me realize that the police clearance requests I sent out last week might have had INSUFFICIENT POSTAGE! I am SO careful about everything else, how could I make such a dumb mistake!

I called the state police and explained my dilemma, but they couldn't tell me whether or not they'd received the envelope. They said to call back in 2 weeks to find out if the requests have been processed. If they haven't been, then they probably didn't get there. So, I guess I'll be checking the mail every day hoping they're returned if the postage wasn't enough. I don't want to lose those money orders!!

So, I took my lone birth certificate to the post office, mailed it, and then stopped by AAA on the way home to have a couple of documents notarized. That went well except for Liam discovering the light switches (don't ask). When I got home, I decided to check my messages because earlier in the day I had left a voicemail for the notary, confirming our appointment at my doctor's office in the morning. Well, she called back, all right - to CANCEL! Apparently she had left a voicemail on my cell phone and assumed I got it. Little did she (or I, at the time) realize that my cell phone is sitting in a Walmart two towns away, where it was either left by me, dropped by my kids, or stolen by someone else yesterday morning.

...This is after 4 this afternoon. After a few minutes or panic I got online and started calling every notary I could find listed. After five or six unsuccessful attempts, I finally found someone who "might" be able to do it tomorrow, but not at the time of my appointment...and Friday would be better. Since the notary I originally found is out of town for a funeral and won't be back until next week, I decided to try to reschedule my doctor's appointment for Friday morning. I called the doc's office at 4:45, and guess what? Closed until tomorrow at 8. So I guess I'll be crawling out of bed early to drive to Walmart for my phone and call the doctor to cancel/reschedule my appointment. I should probably also email our social worker since I told her the dates on the physical would be 9/10, and now they'll probably be different. She'll need to revise the home study, but I would think that'd be a simple change to make.

So, there you go. A day in the life of the paper pregnancy. Thanks for tagging along!

Home Study Submitted to AWAA!

Great news! We heard from our social worker last night that our home study has been submitted to our family coordinator at AWAA for review and approval! Once it is approved by the agency, Tim and I will review the final report, and then we'll be able to send it to USCIS (US Department of Citizenship and Immigration Services) so they can begin processing our application to adopt internationally. We have already completed the required fingerprinting at the USCIS center in Philadelphia, so we're hoping our application moves ahead quickly. Other than the police reports we've already applied for and should be receiving soon, the USCIS approval is the FINAL document we're waiting for before sending our dossier to AWAA, and subsequently to Rwanda. We're getting there, one step at a time!

Another encouragement the past few days has been following the blogs of three other AWAA families who are in Rwanda right now meeting and bringing home their children. All Rwandan adoptions have come from the same orphanage, the Home of Hope in Kigali, founded by Mother Teresa. That means our child is most likely in the orphanage these families are visiting RIGHT NOW. If you'd like to check out their photos and reports, here are the blog links:

www.limmerfamilyadventure.blogspot.com
www.higginsadoption.blogspot.com
www.lifechange.typepad.com/lifechange/adoption/

Book Review - FEARLESS by Max Lucado

As most of you know, I consume books like most people consume water - sometimes sipping, sometimes guzzling, but never passing a day without it. Below is a review of the latest addition to my collection, courtesy of Thomas Nelson Book Review Bloggers.

Once in a while a book comes along that is guaranteed to be a bestseller based on its title alone. Fearless is one of those. Tailored to current events and backed by the credibility and dependability of Max Lucado's proven talent, this book is sure to fly off the shelves before they're even fully stocked.

As an avid reader, I'm a bit ashamed to admit that Fearless is my first experience with Lucado (apart from my kids' love of the Wemmicks and Hermie). I probably own at least ten of his titles, but for some reason they have sat on my shelves - until now. If Max's other books are anything like Fearless, I'll probably breeze through them in weeks. Between his conversational style, effortless dry humor, and Scripture-based insight, it seems like every other sentence is worthy of stenciling on the wall as a trustworthy quote.

Considering the monumental influence of fear and its destructive role in the Christian life, I'm perplexed that more authors haven't addressed it so directly. Because fear has been a personal battle for me, over the past year I have read several books, including the out-of-print Trading Your Worry for Wonder by Cheri Fuller. While both that book and Lucado's proclaim truth and offer refreshing perspectives, after each reading I found myself hungry for more.

The fact of the matter is that the only true source of courage comes from our relationship with Christ, which means the most powerful book we can read to battle fear is the Bible. For months I searched for comfort in C.S. Lewis, John Ortberg, Neil T. Anderson, and others. It was only when I turned back to Scripture that the seeds sown through those wonderful books finally began to sprout. The same will be true of Fearless. I applaud Max Lucado for basing his message on concrete Scripture rather than his own opinion or experience, and I encourage readers to consume the book slowly, taking time to independently study those passage in more depth.

Fearless, like the other titles I've read, divides fear into categories (fear of violence, fear for our kids, fear of disappointing God, etc.). Each one of those issues could fill a book, if not a whole library. I understand the reasons for breaking fear up into consumable portions, but those who are in the midst of an intense struggle in one particular area would do well to read the book with an accountability partner or small group while utilizing the discussion guide in the back of Fearless.

My only other suggestion would be to read the final chapter, "William's Psalm," first. It addresses the media's shameful use of fear as a motivator and the resulting culture of fear we've created, which I believe provides an important lens through which the rest of the book becomes even more meaningful.

Aside from these minor alterations, I wouldn't change a thing about Fearless. Except, perhaps, for having it packaged with the wall stencils already included.

Ponderings

Where are the limits? That's the question I've been asking myself lately. As Tim and I learn more about Rwanda's painful history and the overwhelming need of the orphans, we struggle with our decision to adopt just one child. After all, there are 618,000 orphans in a country the size of Maryland. That translates to one parentless child for every thirteen people! How can we open our hearts and home to one precious soul and shut the rest of them out?

I know we can't save the world. Or, as Mother Teresa (who founded the orphanage from which we'll be adopting) said, "We cannot do great things, only small things with great love." But it still breaks my heart to imagine the day we will arrive at the orphanage to claim our son or daughter, knowing that when we leave we'll be turning our backs on hundreds of other love-starved children.

We have a small house, relatively speaking. Two bedrooms when we moved in, until we turned the 1-car garage into a third bedroom while I was pregnant with Liam. We figure it won't hurt our kids to share a room once our adopted child comes home, and for the time being all five of us can share the house's only bathroom. But surely five people in a home that was designed for two bedrooms is pushing it, right? Six people would be impractical, wouldn't it?

To us, maybe, but to most of the world we live in a palace. Sometimes I wonder how superficial our view of life really is. How many resources do we waste on things that have no eternal value? How many adoptions (besides our own) could we help to fund if we shopped at used clothing stores, stopped buying junk food, kept the air conditioning off once in a while, and slashed our entertainment budget. What if we (gasp) scrapped the birthday and Christmas gifts for a year or two?

Every few weeks we reevaluate our budget, and we've already trimmed what little fat we could find. Until recently I saw this as a temporary tightening of the monetary belt, but the farther we travel on this journey, the more I understand that God has called us to care for the orphans - plural. Adopting one of them is a start, but not the fulfillment of our responsibility. As long as there are children in need of loving parents, Tim and I want to channel our resources into bringing them home. Whether that means fitting more tiny bodies into our little/large house, or financially assisting other adoptive families, I have a feeling this path we're on will lead through a lifetime.

Light at the end of the tunnel...?

What a week! Annabell and Liam started preschool on Monday. Tuesday morning they both had pediatrician visits to fill out medical reports for our home study. Today I spent the morning filling out adoption paperwork and the afternoon on the telephone, first finding out how to order our 2nd round of criminal history clearances and then tracking down answers to a long list of questions regarding paperwork we've already received. Tomorrow we'll be back at the pediatrician's office for tuberculosis checks, and Friday I'm hoping to get some documents notarized while Annabell is at preschool (Liam only attends Monday and Wednesday).

It sounds like a lot, but as I looked through our dossier checklist this afternoon it struck me how close we are to the end of this paper chase! The first draft of our home study is expected to be finished early next week, and once that is finalized we'll just be waiting for approval from USCIS before sending our dossier to the adoption agency. Once that's done, barring any errors in the paperwork, it's out of our hands!

I've been telling myself to plan on traveling to Rwanda no earlier than late summer 2010. In general I'm trying not to think about the timeline at all, apart from moving forward with paperwork as quickly and efficiently as possible. I have a feeling that once our dossier is on its way to Rwanda, the weeks will begin to seem a little longer!

Since it'll be a few months yet before we have pictures to share of our adopted child, here are a few shots of Annabell and Liam on the first day of school. :)

Reality Check

AWAA (our adoption agency) hosted another conference call this afternoon for families in the Rwanda program. We're all at various stages in the process, some just starting out with home study prep and others within weeks of receiving their child referrals. I've been getting to know some of the other Rwanda families via a Yahoo chat group that AWAA created specifically for us, and it's such an encouragement to share questions and updates with people who are working through the same process and emotions.

I did have to fight a few minutes of discouragement after today's call, thanks to the updated timeline our family coordinator shared. The time between dossiers arriving in Rwanda and families receiving their non-objection letters (the Rwandan government's approval to adopt an orphan) is now estimated at 4-6 months. During last month's conference call we were told it could be anywhere from 1-5 months.

In addition, the Ministry of Gender and Family Promotion (the department of the Rwandan government that handles adoptions) has decided to change the referral process. Until recently, when the ministry issued a non-objection letter, it was given to AWAA's staff person in Rwanda, who in turn worked with the orphanage in matching a child to the adoptive family. Now, however, the ministry has decided to facilitate the entire referral process. They will work directly with the orphanage, and then send our child's information to the social worker who completed our home study, who will in turn pass it on to us. Apparently this is supposed to happen within 2 months of the issuance of the non-objection letter. Travel to pick up the child can be anywhere from 2-8 weeks after that point.

In all reality, this timeline isn't much different than what we were told in the beginning. It just seems like long wait today, perhaps because the reminder comes on the heels of finishing our home study, which is a major part of the paperwork process. I'm trying to remind myself that God's timing is perfect, and however long it takes to be united with our child, He will use every second of that time to prepare us.

I AM encouraged that in the last couple of days I've "met" two other AWAA Rwanda families in the same stage of paperwork. Who knows? Perhaps we'll be traveling together when the time comes to meet our children! That has been the trend lately with other Rwanda families.

Praying for patience and trust...

Amy: "Loved"

I sat down tonight intending to write a post about our adoption progress, but to be honest my heart and mind are elsewhere.

A few days ago my dear friend Amy discovered that she has Stage IV Lymphoma. Two weeks ago she was (for all we knew) as healthy as any other young, energetic, beautiful mother of two preschoolers. Healthier, actually, considering her remarkable discipline and consistent trips to the gym. No fevers, no fatigue, no symptoms ... yet here we are.

Incredibly, I think she is handling the news better than I am. Her spirit has radiated unwavering trust from the moment her doctor hinted at cancer. While her friends (including myself) were frantically brushing aside the frightening possibility, Amy was calmly stating, "I'm fine with it either way. If I have cancer, it's because God has a plan for it. As long as He's glorified, that's all that matters."

I believe there are few people who can make a statement like that and honestly mean it. If I'd been the one with the diagnosis, I might have dredged up the composure to say something "spiritual" and courageous, but I strongly suspect every word would have been hypocrisy.

Amy, on the other hand, is a gifted woman. Her faith in God's goodness never seems to falter. She holds the things of this world loosely, always ready to release them in favor of eternally significant pursuits that bring honor to her Savior. I can't tell you how many times I have watched her sacrifice her time, money, agenda, or comfort in order to serve others - often those who seem the least deserving and least appreciative.

I am among those who have felt her love in a very dark hour, and it is a gift I will never forget. Months after the fact, I finally wrote a note to thank her, and I recall crying in gratitude as I typed it. In honor of my sweet friend's compassionate heart, I want to share what I wrote:

Dear Amy,

Forgive me...this letter is long overdue! I want to thank you for the love you have shown me, and particularly for your selfless companionship on that awful night in September.

Those hours were without a doubt some of the hardest of my life. I remember begging God to let me feel His presence and comfort. At the time I thought He chose not to answer that prayer. But now, in hindsight, I see that He did answer. He gave me you.

When I look back on that night, I often think of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. The emotional anguish He experienced was undoubtedly far worse than my panic attack, but thanks to my trial I have a new perspective on those moments of His life. I understand--at least in part--why He desired his disciples' companionship and prayer. There's something innately soothing about the physical presence of someone who loves you, especially when your world seems to be ripping apart at the seams.

I can't begin to imagine Jesus' hurt when His disciples repeatedly fell alseep rather than pray with Him. I believe this was part of God's perfect plan to fulfill prophecy, allowing His precious Son to be betrayed and forsaken. Jesus was utterly alone in His hour of need, and I know His pain must have been crippling.

How thankful I am that he bore that burden in my place! Because of His sacrifice, our troubles are only temporary. And through His love, we have a spiritual family; because of Christ, we are sisters.

I wonder what Jesus thought about that night in the garden. Did He envision you and I, and all the others who would be saved because of His sacrifice? Did He foresee us sitting on my couch, entering
the throne room of God, united by our faith in His name? Perhaps we'll find out some day.

How thankful I am that you were willing to fight the battle with me through that long night. Unlike Jesus' companions, you readily gave up your rest and comfort for my sake. I have no doubt that God took pleasure in your sacrifice, not only because you persevered where the disciples did not, but because your love and selflessness emulated that of His beloved Son.

So, thank you, Amy, for your friendship. Whatever paths we travel in the future, whether near or far, I will never forget the way God used you to wrap His arms around me in my darkest hour. I love you.

Your sister in Christ,
Alison

This week I began compiling a list of potential names for our adopted child. With Amy so heavy on my heart, I typed her name into the search engine and discovered its meaning: "loved." How appropriate.

Please join me in praying for Amy as she and her family embark on this new and uncertain journey.

http://www.amybeachyshope.blogspot.com

Witnessing a Miracle

Rarely do I recognize a miracle in the making, but this past Saturday, during our adoption benefit yard sale, I dropped into a chair on more than one occasion and said in awe, "This has to be God. It HAS to be!"

A 180 degree turnaround in the weather forecast preceded our big day. Predictions of rain nearly threw me into a panic on Thursday, but several friends quickly volunteered to pray for a change, and Saturday dawned crystal clear and beautifully mild - PERFECT yard sale weather! That was the first miracle.

The second started around 6 a.m. on Saturday, when cars began lining the street beyond sight in both directions. Never in my life have I seen such a crowd for a solitary yard sale, and it lasted all morning! The mass of shoppers was so thick at times I could barely squeeze from one end of the driveway to the other to answer questions and rearrange displays. And these particular bargain hunters were an unusual breed: several of them (total strangers, mind you) walked up and said "Good luck with the adoption," then handed over $10 or $20 bills without even taking anything! Other shoppers filled bags, boxes, and even laundry baskets with heaps of "treasures," many of which I fully expected to send to Goodwill at the end of the day. The "checkout" was frequently mobbed with 10 or 12 customers at a time (a special thanks to Marty Cooper and Lori Kirkham for your brilliant mental math and hours of precious time!).

As the morning progressed, my hopes for our earnings grew. I had tentatively hoped to raise around $1000, but that seemed an impossible number for a yard sale. I thought we might make it thanks to a couple of large (and almost anonymous) donations from our sweet friends, but I didn't want to get ahead of myself. Imagine my shock when I counted the money to find we had raised $2,384.98!!

THANK YOU to all who contributed to, prayed for, and/or shopped at our sale. Your support has moved us a giant step closer to our Rwandan child! May God bless you for eternally influencing the life of an orphan.

A distant (partial) view of the spread

Cousins Emily and Annabell checkin' out the crowd.

Liam and cousin Brayden acting as exhausted as Mommy & Daddy!

Aching Arms

As I was putting Liam to bed tonight, he asked me to sing his favorite lullaby, a simple little tune that has calmed him countless times over the past two and a half years. As I sang and cuddled with my son, my mind wandered - as it so often does these days - to our Rwandan child. How long will it be until I hold him or her close and sing those same sweet words for the first time? Will they comfort that little one as they have my other children?

Tonight, for the first time since we began this adoption journey, my arms literally ached to hold my chosen child. The busyness generated by paperwork and the expectation of long months of waiting tend to overshadow the reality of this incredible miracle unfolding before us.

Our child, at this moment, is most likely in the womb or already in the orphanage. Maybe he or she is still with a birthparent, but poverty or illness will soon lead to abandonment. Thoughts such as these inspire me to pray more fervently, not only for our child, but also for the parents and/or caregivers. If you read this, please join me. Your prayers for our son or daughter are so precious!

Of Meetings and Money

Our social worker called this morning and scheduled our first home study visit for August 3! I was excited to hear that she is willing to condense the four required visits into a short time, allowing us to move through the entire home study process quickly.

August is going to be a busy month. We're also planning a MASSIVE yard sale to raise funds for the adoption. My parents are getting ready to move, so they have a garage full of unwanted items, and we're also accepting donations from friends. It's so encouraging to feel the support as people rally around us to help with this event. We truly are blessed with a great "family!"

I'm taking a few days off from adoption paperwork this week to tackle some advertising needs for our contracting business. It's hard to divide my attention, but necessary if we want to bring in more work. Please pray that Tim and I will have the time and energy to devote to so many tasks, and that we won't neglect family time in the process. Thanks!

One Step Closer

After a grueling ten days of marathon paper-chasing, we mailed about 95% of our home study documents this afternoon! Hopefully this will allow us to schedule our first of four visits with a social worker, and we'll be one step closer to our baby.

As I was looking through my checklist of dossier documents, I was encouraged to realize that the most time-consuming items (apart from the home study, of course), have already been acquired, or are already in the works. We have plenty of waiting to do before our dossier is complete, but I'm shocked at how much we've accomplished in just a few weeks. Organization and daily to-do lists have certainly played a major role. If only I could learn the same habits in day-to-day life!

A Checklist for My Checklist

When I wrote my last post, I thought I was finally getting a vision for how involved our paper chase would be. Now I know I didn't have a clue! I made a checklist for the steps needed to acquire our dossier documents...FIVE pages of steps! But then we received the information packet for our home study, and we found another long list of new documents to create or acquire. I now have checklists for my checklist!

Thankfully, in the past week we have managed to gather about 95% of our home study documents, which is what the agency requires before we can schedule our first visit (the home study consists of 4 visits with a social worker). Hopefully we can get that process moving next week.

On a humorous note, recently I sat down with our daughter Annabell to show her pictures of a baby boy our friends recently adopted from Rwanda. After looking at the adorable pictures, Annabell said, "Mommy, he's soon going to change color, isn't he?" I guess we have a few things to teach her about becoming a bi-racial family!

BTW, I've heard from several people who were unable to post comments on our blog. Sorry, I didn't even realize I could change those settings! Now anyone should be able to comment, regardless of whether or not you have a Blogger account.

The Paper Chase Begins

Progress! On Wednesday evening we received an email from AWAA confirming receipt of our agreement and payment (that was fast!), and yesterday our family coordinator called to introduce herself. I was eager to "meet" her, and relieved to find that she is personable and more than willing to answer our questions. One of our reasons for choosing AWAA (and deciding against another agency) involved our comfort level with the staff members. So far we've been impressed with the professionalism and personal attention of those we've dealt with at AWAA.

We also received extensive guidelines for working through the dossier-building process. This is what most people call the "paper pregnancy," and from what we've heard it will be a long and arduous process. There is a long list of documents to be acquired, most of which must be notarized. Over the next few months we'll be gathering these, and possibly repeating some of our work if any of them expire before we receive a child referral from Rwanda.

If you're curious, here is a rundown of the documents (all but 3 of these must be notarized and certified by the PA Secretary of State):

• Power of attorney
• Copies of passports (first we need to get the originals!)
• Application letter
• Birth certificates (I ordered these online last night)
• Marriage certificate (simple trip to the Lancaster courthouse, I hope)
• Physical exams (must be notarized at the doctor's office...have you ever had a physical with a notary public standing by your side?)
• Proof of medical insurance for adopted child (could be tricky, since I was recently told by the insurance company that we need to provide a birthdate for the child before they'll offer coverage)
• W2s
• Financial statement
• Declaration of Intent letters
• Family composition letter
• Home study (involves 4 visits with a social worker to determine our suitability as adoptive parents)
• Police reports & FBI fingerprinting
• USCIS (Citizenship & Immigration Services) approval
• Agency post-placement agreement

With so many organizations and agencies involved, it's not surprising that the dossier-building process usually takes 4-6 months! Especially considering most documents require several steps to acquire them. We're going to be very, very busy.

I sat down with our adoption notebook last night and added some detail to our organizational system. I'll need to maintain a to-do list and checklist for every part of this process, or else I'll be too overwhelmed and confused to make any headway.

We appreciate your prayers for our time management and diligence in this phase of the adoption, and also for our ability to gather the finances we'll need when the dossier is complete.

Thanks for keeping in step!

"The check's in the mail..."

It's been a busy two weeks in the McLennan household, hence the lack of posts! Between finishing up some home projects and preparing for houseguests, our time for adoption paperwork has been sorely lacking.

This morning Tim and I finally found a few minutes to read through and sign our official agreement with America World, as well as a few other legal documents. AND we wrote out a check for the first big installment of our program fee (gulp). The savings account is looking a bit anemic!

Now that the check's in the mail, we should soon be assigned to a family coordinator and begin making progress toward completing our home study. And, of course, we're still plugging away at our online adoption education course.

If there were only a few more hours in the day...

A Sobering Education

One of the requirements for our adoption is completing 10 hours of adoption education. Eight of those hours come from an online course, which Tim and I must complete individually.

I'm about halfway through the course, and so far everything I've learned deals with the risks of international adoption. Few adoptions run from start to finish without some hiccups, and the chances of adopting a "healthy" child are basically zero. The majority of internationally adopted children, especially those coming from orphanages, will arrive in the U.S. with ear or respiratory infections, developmental delays, malnutrition-related growth issues, or some kind of virus.

As I read through the endless lists of physical, mental, and emotional problems our son or daughter may encounter, I keep asking myself, "Can I really handle this?"

The answer, of course, is "no." Not a chance.

I remember dealing with the same question during my first pregnancy, when I agonized over the many birth defects or disorders my daughter could develop. Thankfully, both of my children have been born healthy and whole. So, if I want another baby, and I want him or her to be healthy, the odds definitely suggest that another pregnancy would be a smarter choice than international adoption.

Or would it?

We often base our decisions on odds, chances, likelihoods, and statistics, but what do these things really mean in a world where God is sovereign? If His plan for me is to experience the challenge and growth of caring for a chronically or seriously ill child, then it doesn't matter where that child comes from - my womb or someone else's. I could just as easily give birth to a Down's Syndrome baby as adopt one with Hepatitis. In either case, I would be in way over my head.

But isn't that where God wants me? Each time I'm faced with the reality of my weaknesses, His limitless power shines a little brighter. As the Apostle Paul wrote, "When I am weak, then I am strong." Without acknowledging my own helplessness, I'd never learn to trust Him.

Yes, the thought of adopting an unhealthy child concerns me, but it doesn't have anything to do with our decision to proceed. Healthy or not, all of our children are in God's hands. And it is in His hands that Tim and I will find the strength to face whatever challenges await us on this journey.

It's Official!

We're approved! Yesterday we received the call we've been waiting for from our agency, America World Adoption. They have finished reviewing our application and officially given us the go-ahead for their Rwanda program!

This was the second call we received from America World this week. The agency also called on Tuesday to let us know that our approval looked promising. However, they were "in discussions" with some Rwandan officials concerning possible changes to the adoption process, and were waiting to approve anyone else for the program until they had some answers.

This left us a little uncertain, especially knowing that the Rwandan adoption process is so new. When we first contacted America World about Rwanda, they were encouraging but also very honest about the risks involved in any pilot program. What a relief it was yesterday to hear that adoptions are expected to proceed without interference! We know this could change, of course, but for now we're taking it as a green light to move forward.

Now the real work begins...filling out more paperwork, scheduling our home study, completing 10 hours of required adoption education, chasing down a mountain of official documents, and scraping together that first big program fee. Please pray for our organization, stamina, and financial responsibility!

Adoption Announcement

“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families...”
Psalm 68:5-6a

Welcome to our blog! If you're here, you've already heard our exciting news: in May 2009 we officially began the process of adopting an orphan from Rwanda, Africa!

Why Rwanda?

Rwanda has only recently opened to international adoption, so the process there is still somewhat unpredictable. This is a risk we have decided to take for several reasons, including the relative speed of the adoptive process, the overall cost, and the overwhelming needs of the orphans.

Our adoption, from application to placement, is anticipated to be completed in 10-15 months, so we're hoping for a “due date” in the spring or summer of 2010. The journey ahead will no doubt seem slow and full of new challenges, but we eagerly anticipate the day when we will cross the ocean to embrace our new son or daughter!

Why Adoption?

Tim and I first discussed adoption while we were dating, but for years I viewed it as “something we might do someday, when we're finished having our own children.” Without consciously acknowledging my attitude, I perceived adoption as a second-best or last-resort method of growing our family.

Tim, on the other hand, has always been confident about his desire to adopt. As he told me recently, “Adoption has never been a question of 'if' for me. 'When' and 'how' are the questions, but not 'if.'”

In retrospect I can see that my initial feelings about adoption began to change several years ago, through a series of small but poignant moments God used to soften my heart. It wasn't until recently that I recognized a major heart-shift had occurred—adoption had moved from “second best” to “Plan A.”

The most significant part of this transformation came in the form of an answered prayer.

A Search for Understanding

A few months ago I had a revelation about my faith: I didn't really understand the concept of God's grace. As a teenager I had learned the acronym GRACE: God's Riches At Christ's Expense. It seemed simple enough, and for years I claimed understanding without giving the issue much thought.

But then, through some difficult circumstances, I recognized that I was still trying to “earn” God's approval. In a moment of total honestly, I acknowledged that the idea of grace wasn't simple at all, but rather so profound that it seemed too good to be true! I begged God to help me wrap my feeble mind around this important concept—to give me a tangible picture of His grace.

His answer came a few weeks later, shortly after Tim and I began researching adoption. While I was praying I envisioned a baby sleeping in a crowded orphanage, unaware that across the globe love's arms were already opening wide, sweeping aside every obstacle in their eagerness to embrace.

And then it hit me: In so many ways, I am that helpless child. I've done nothing to deserve God's love, nor could I ever hope to earn His acceptance through my feeble efforts. And when I consider the depth of my brokenness—my selfishness, pride, greed, malice, and an untold host of other sins—I can't understand why God has adopted me as His daughter. But He has. Even before I knew He was there, the work of adoption had already been finished.

More to Learn

This grace God has taught us through adoption is radical—bridging the chasms of time, distance, and culture to embrace a stranger as one's beloved son, daughter, sister, or brother. What a beautiful portrait painted by a loving God!

Our family has much to learn in the coming months, and we already face many unanswered questions: How will we find time to chase down all the necessary paperwork? How will we meet the financial challenges of this process? How long will we have to wait for information about our child? How will our children adjust to their new brother or sister?

We look forward to sharing our discoveries with all of you. We also appreciate your prayers and support as we navigate this unfamiliar path.

With love and hope,

Tim, Alison, Annabell, and Liam