Reality Check

AWAA (our adoption agency) hosted another conference call this afternoon for families in the Rwanda program. We're all at various stages in the process, some just starting out with home study prep and others within weeks of receiving their child referrals. I've been getting to know some of the other Rwanda families via a Yahoo chat group that AWAA created specifically for us, and it's such an encouragement to share questions and updates with people who are working through the same process and emotions.

I did have to fight a few minutes of discouragement after today's call, thanks to the updated timeline our family coordinator shared. The time between dossiers arriving in Rwanda and families receiving their non-objection letters (the Rwandan government's approval to adopt an orphan) is now estimated at 4-6 months. During last month's conference call we were told it could be anywhere from 1-5 months.

In addition, the Ministry of Gender and Family Promotion (the department of the Rwandan government that handles adoptions) has decided to change the referral process. Until recently, when the ministry issued a non-objection letter, it was given to AWAA's staff person in Rwanda, who in turn worked with the orphanage in matching a child to the adoptive family. Now, however, the ministry has decided to facilitate the entire referral process. They will work directly with the orphanage, and then send our child's information to the social worker who completed our home study, who will in turn pass it on to us. Apparently this is supposed to happen within 2 months of the issuance of the non-objection letter. Travel to pick up the child can be anywhere from 2-8 weeks after that point.

In all reality, this timeline isn't much different than what we were told in the beginning. It just seems like long wait today, perhaps because the reminder comes on the heels of finishing our home study, which is a major part of the paperwork process. I'm trying to remind myself that God's timing is perfect, and however long it takes to be united with our child, He will use every second of that time to prepare us.

I AM encouraged that in the last couple of days I've "met" two other AWAA Rwanda families in the same stage of paperwork. Who knows? Perhaps we'll be traveling together when the time comes to meet our children! That has been the trend lately with other Rwanda families.

Praying for patience and trust...

Amy: "Loved"

I sat down tonight intending to write a post about our adoption progress, but to be honest my heart and mind are elsewhere.

A few days ago my dear friend Amy discovered that she has Stage IV Lymphoma. Two weeks ago she was (for all we knew) as healthy as any other young, energetic, beautiful mother of two preschoolers. Healthier, actually, considering her remarkable discipline and consistent trips to the gym. No fevers, no fatigue, no symptoms ... yet here we are.

Incredibly, I think she is handling the news better than I am. Her spirit has radiated unwavering trust from the moment her doctor hinted at cancer. While her friends (including myself) were frantically brushing aside the frightening possibility, Amy was calmly stating, "I'm fine with it either way. If I have cancer, it's because God has a plan for it. As long as He's glorified, that's all that matters."

I believe there are few people who can make a statement like that and honestly mean it. If I'd been the one with the diagnosis, I might have dredged up the composure to say something "spiritual" and courageous, but I strongly suspect every word would have been hypocrisy.

Amy, on the other hand, is a gifted woman. Her faith in God's goodness never seems to falter. She holds the things of this world loosely, always ready to release them in favor of eternally significant pursuits that bring honor to her Savior. I can't tell you how many times I have watched her sacrifice her time, money, agenda, or comfort in order to serve others - often those who seem the least deserving and least appreciative.

I am among those who have felt her love in a very dark hour, and it is a gift I will never forget. Months after the fact, I finally wrote a note to thank her, and I recall crying in gratitude as I typed it. In honor of my sweet friend's compassionate heart, I want to share what I wrote:

Dear Amy,

Forgive me...this letter is long overdue! I want to thank you for the love you have shown me, and particularly for your selfless companionship on that awful night in September.

Those hours were without a doubt some of the hardest of my life. I remember begging God to let me feel His presence and comfort. At the time I thought He chose not to answer that prayer. But now, in hindsight, I see that He did answer. He gave me you.

When I look back on that night, I often think of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. The emotional anguish He experienced was undoubtedly far worse than my panic attack, but thanks to my trial I have a new perspective on those moments of His life. I understand--at least in part--why He desired his disciples' companionship and prayer. There's something innately soothing about the physical presence of someone who loves you, especially when your world seems to be ripping apart at the seams.

I can't begin to imagine Jesus' hurt when His disciples repeatedly fell alseep rather than pray with Him. I believe this was part of God's perfect plan to fulfill prophecy, allowing His precious Son to be betrayed and forsaken. Jesus was utterly alone in His hour of need, and I know His pain must have been crippling.

How thankful I am that he bore that burden in my place! Because of His sacrifice, our troubles are only temporary. And through His love, we have a spiritual family; because of Christ, we are sisters.

I wonder what Jesus thought about that night in the garden. Did He envision you and I, and all the others who would be saved because of His sacrifice? Did He foresee us sitting on my couch, entering
the throne room of God, united by our faith in His name? Perhaps we'll find out some day.

How thankful I am that you were willing to fight the battle with me through that long night. Unlike Jesus' companions, you readily gave up your rest and comfort for my sake. I have no doubt that God took pleasure in your sacrifice, not only because you persevered where the disciples did not, but because your love and selflessness emulated that of His beloved Son.

So, thank you, Amy, for your friendship. Whatever paths we travel in the future, whether near or far, I will never forget the way God used you to wrap His arms around me in my darkest hour. I love you.

Your sister in Christ,
Alison

This week I began compiling a list of potential names for our adopted child. With Amy so heavy on my heart, I typed her name into the search engine and discovered its meaning: "loved." How appropriate.

Please join me in praying for Amy as she and her family embark on this new and uncertain journey.

http://www.amybeachyshope.blogspot.com

Witnessing a Miracle

Rarely do I recognize a miracle in the making, but this past Saturday, during our adoption benefit yard sale, I dropped into a chair on more than one occasion and said in awe, "This has to be God. It HAS to be!"

A 180 degree turnaround in the weather forecast preceded our big day. Predictions of rain nearly threw me into a panic on Thursday, but several friends quickly volunteered to pray for a change, and Saturday dawned crystal clear and beautifully mild - PERFECT yard sale weather! That was the first miracle.

The second started around 6 a.m. on Saturday, when cars began lining the street beyond sight in both directions. Never in my life have I seen such a crowd for a solitary yard sale, and it lasted all morning! The mass of shoppers was so thick at times I could barely squeeze from one end of the driveway to the other to answer questions and rearrange displays. And these particular bargain hunters were an unusual breed: several of them (total strangers, mind you) walked up and said "Good luck with the adoption," then handed over $10 or $20 bills without even taking anything! Other shoppers filled bags, boxes, and even laundry baskets with heaps of "treasures," many of which I fully expected to send to Goodwill at the end of the day. The "checkout" was frequently mobbed with 10 or 12 customers at a time (a special thanks to Marty Cooper and Lori Kirkham for your brilliant mental math and hours of precious time!).

As the morning progressed, my hopes for our earnings grew. I had tentatively hoped to raise around $1000, but that seemed an impossible number for a yard sale. I thought we might make it thanks to a couple of large (and almost anonymous) donations from our sweet friends, but I didn't want to get ahead of myself. Imagine my shock when I counted the money to find we had raised $2,384.98!!

THANK YOU to all who contributed to, prayed for, and/or shopped at our sale. Your support has moved us a giant step closer to our Rwandan child! May God bless you for eternally influencing the life of an orphan.

A distant (partial) view of the spread

Cousins Emily and Annabell checkin' out the crowd.

Liam and cousin Brayden acting as exhausted as Mommy & Daddy!

Aching Arms

As I was putting Liam to bed tonight, he asked me to sing his favorite lullaby, a simple little tune that has calmed him countless times over the past two and a half years. As I sang and cuddled with my son, my mind wandered - as it so often does these days - to our Rwandan child. How long will it be until I hold him or her close and sing those same sweet words for the first time? Will they comfort that little one as they have my other children?

Tonight, for the first time since we began this adoption journey, my arms literally ached to hold my chosen child. The busyness generated by paperwork and the expectation of long months of waiting tend to overshadow the reality of this incredible miracle unfolding before us.

Our child, at this moment, is most likely in the womb or already in the orphanage. Maybe he or she is still with a birthparent, but poverty or illness will soon lead to abandonment. Thoughts such as these inspire me to pray more fervently, not only for our child, but also for the parents and/or caregivers. If you read this, please join me. Your prayers for our son or daughter are so precious!