Re-entering the blogosphere

I haven't written much on this blog for the past several months, mostly because I haven't known what to say. Last fall I was in a dark place, logging more hours in "the pit" than I care to remember. Since that time my heart has navigated the changing tides of surrender, hope, frustration, cynicism, compassion, excitement, gratitude, disillusionment, peace, and longing. No, I'm not a mental case. I'm a waiting mom.

The details of our adoption haven't changed much. We're still waiting for our approval (DTR 14 months on Valentine's Day), though we now have hope that it could arrive very soon! In early January we updated our home study and jumped the hurdles required for new USCIS paperwork. Tomorrow Tim and I will be getting our vaccinations for eventually traveling to Rwanda, and then, once our extended I-171H arrives, we'll be good to go for another year.

I'm not sure what to tell you about my blogosphere hibernation this winter. The details above tell you a little about what I did, but not about what happened. That vital part of the story is internal, and I haven't sorted it all out yet, at least not enough to share on this blog. I can tell you that God's ways are not only higher than mine, they're galaxies upon galaxies removed from my pitiful, short-sighted schemes. The past three months have taught me a lot about His bigness. (I don't like the sound of that word, but it's the only one that seems to fit.)

When we began this journey, I thought it was about a child. Or maybe about a child and the portrait adoption paints of God's grace to us through Jesus. But lately I've realized that's only scratching the surface. God is up to something much bigger than us, and much bigger than a poignant analogy. He's after eternal, worldwide, revolutionary change. He's after glory.

But that is yet another topic for another time. For now I just want to say hello, I'm back, and thanks for not un-following me this winter! :)